Anti-Jokes

What's triangular in its' main physical form yet resembles a cabbage hanging from some misplaced fungus?


Nothing.

What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a terrier?




















A dog hybrid. A dog hybrid, also known as a crossbred dog or designer dog, is an individual dog with ancestry in two different purebred dog breeds. Designer dogs are described by portmateau words, such as cockapoo. The term dog hybrids may describe first generation crosses from two purebred breeds, or any of various backcrosses, or the result of breeding successive generations of crosses in order to create a new breed of purebred dog or outcrosses of any of those; the term dog hybrid does not have a consistent meaning.

whats worse than kickin up your toe?

 

gang rape

knock knock
who's there?
doorbell repairman

Person 1: Hey did you hear what happened at work today?
Person 2: -confused expression-
Person 1: O that's right your deaf, nevermind

Why did little suzy fall off her bike?
Because a piano fell on her.

How do you stop a clown from smiling?
Hit it with an axe.

A man walked in to a bar and asked for a drink, then another, then another. A while later he was pretty hammered. Because of his drinking problem he went home, beat his daughter, then cried himself to sleep.

A dog walks into a bar and asks a bartender for a drink. the bartender realizes that dogs can't talk, then wakes up to realize its only a dream. When he trys to tell his wife the dream she tells him to go back to sleep. He then cries and realizes his family is falling apart.

Q. What does the duck say to the skunk? A. Quack.

Your momma's so fat she eats too much and doesn't get any excercise.

Why was the boy crying when he sat on Santa's lap?
Because Santa's boner reminderd him of his pedophile father.

What does a plum and a rabbit have in common?
They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

What's worse than finding a fly in your soup?
The holocaust.

What's worst than the holocaust?
Two holocaust

A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he wakes up in the hospital with a severe concussion.

Two men walk into a bar, which is kinda stupid because the second one should have dodged it.

What do your call a black pilot?
A pilot you racist.

What is black and has 8 legs?
Gang Rape.

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
The 1 out of 10 is the one getting raped.

Johnny comes home from school crying and says, "Mommy all the kids at school say I have a big head."
His mother replies, "No you don't Johnny. You have a hideously deformed head and the other children are merely hidning the truth to protect your feelings.

And the super long joke of them all.....

Jimmy is turning 8 and his dad askes him what he want. Jimmy says, "all i want are ping pong balls."
His dad looks at him confused and says, "ok?"
So the next year his dad askes him the same thing and Jimmy says, "hmmmmm I want ping pong balls."
His dad responds, "but i got you that last year?"
Jimmy says, "i'll be the happiest kid ever if you just get me ping pong balls." so he does.
On Jimmy's 18th birthday his dad walks up to him and says, "Ok son ever since you were 8 i have gotten you ping pong balls. Your a man now, what do you want?"
Jimmy responds with, "I just want more ping pong balls"
his dad has no choice but to get him more ping pong balls.
So its finally Jimmy's 21st birthday and his dad askes him what he wants. Jimmy says, "all i want are more ping pong balls."
The father looks at him dissapointed and says, "I figured, but in return we have to go skydiving.'
Jimmy agrees.
So Jimmy and his father jump out of the plane and are falling, the fathers parachutes opens and he begins to descend.
Jimmy's parachute won't open.
his father had set up a bail filled with ping pong balls for Jimmy to land in.
Jimmy lands in the Ping pong balls, but is severely injured.
His dad lands and comes up to him, he says, "Son, before you die i have to ask, why did you want all those ping pong balls for all these years.
Jimmy looks to his father and says, "I.. I... I had...." Jimmy dies and nobody ever finds out why he needed the ping pong balls.


The End =P

Knock knock!

Who's there?

A looser!

Fuck off Rob.

Knock knock

Whos there?

Its the doctor, I'm afraid you've got Aids.

Knock knock
Who's there?
The ghost of Banging Tunes.

What did one lawyer say to another lawyer?









"We're both lawyers"

What would George Washington do if he was alive today?







Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?






What the fuck is wrong with you, use paint.

Knock knock






knocking on heavens door.

Why did the chicken cross the road?









Because after a visit to tescos I was going home to cook it.

Anti-jokes are where it's at. Normal jokes usually just make me cringe.