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What does he fuck? His dog?

Nope, his dog won't date him

then his lunch box perhaps?

well... he is holding a lunch pail.

he can only 'fuck' if he lies with his head below the level of his feet. that way his massive stomach rolls back towards his face to reveal his tiny mangled genitalia. then all he has to do is find somebody/somethin that is tight enough to be pleasured by the thickness of a small pencil

burberry..... he looks like he's kind of a fan of black pinstripe to me?

he'd fuck him