My wife beating, coke addicted, violent, cocky, gobby, theiving, arsehole of a cousen that everyone in our family hates with a passion has just moved into the room next to me. He takes advantage of my grandad altsimers as well by making him give him money, borrowed money from me n refused to give it back till i got the police involved, threatened to beat me up when i refused to sell his stolen merchandice on ebay and is generally a class A cunt.

I wana make his stay here as uncomfortable as posible, i have allready started to collect my seaman in a glass to put in his coffee in the mornings. So, what else can i do to piss him off?

Cat shit in his shoe. I must be able to get away with that

rub chillis in the crotch area of all his clean pants

rub fibreglass into his bedsheets (that'll really give him some jip )

wipe the head of his toothbrush round the toilet rim on a daily basis

 

Thats a great one! His toothbrush is in the bathroom now as it goes

call him poo poo face

Get a dirty, minging chavette up the duffer and get a housing association flat.

Shouldnt be to hard living in essex

TIMMEH!!!


Will you stop being so violent!?

Shouldn't be too hard living anywhere in this shithole country.

grrr

I been single for over a year now. I must be REALLY epicly ugly

what happened to the doris you put a picture up of?

come back here I'll bite your feet off

It went a bit tits up She wasnt ready for a relationship No matter, i got an even hotter one on the go now And NO TIMMEH! No pics of STFU

shitter dude, always seem to get chucked that line myself

I think i scare most them with my hyperness, randomness, sick sense of humor & general weird appearance

Poison.

i scare them with lines like "i quite like you" and "wanna go for a curry?"

Least u get that far

 

yeah i've had my fair share of "not ready" aswell, due for another this week i fear, i know because i like her

Always the fucking way aint it I quite like this new girl and if this shit happens again i may have to resort to rohipnol.

i don't see how "i quite like you" puts 'em off. does it mean that it was some kind of abuse sex beforehand?

Like i thought my last chat up line was quite good really. Bet she had  never heard it before. Got loads of bog roll out the bathroom and tapped her on the shoulder n sed "hi there, sorry to bother you, was just wondering, does this smell like chloroform to u?" Needless to say she wasn't to impressed. I thought it was funny though